WTC?

Really Sarah?  Are we doing this again.  I talked about a tantrum mat last time and I think I need a tantrum mat to deal with my disappointment with how I'M ON DAY ONE FOR THE 1,567,158TH TIME! I'm so over this.  BLAHHHHHHHH!

Ok... I think I'm done..  Anyway.. last night we went to Smashburger for din din.  Zaheer's been playing a lot at church and it's sort of become a Saturday night ritual that we go there afterwords for dinner.  Well the ritual was short-lived because last night was their last night.  They're closing their doors.. :(  Booooo.  HOWEVER... as a single tear was streaming down my face last night as we were walking away from my favorite burger place I couldn't help but think of how things happen for a reason.  I'm trying so hard to get my weight under wraps and we go eat places like smashburger where my favorite burger is probably THE worst one out of the bunch.  Egg Bun...Bacon.. Burger..Cheddar....BBQ Sauce...Mayo... and Haystacks.  It's to die for.... and wait.. I may literally be dying for it.  Sabotage.  I made healthier choices for lunch yesterday but I feel like at dinner it's impossible to make better choices.


As much as I'd love to be able to blame this on my husband's inability to pallet healthy food,  I've been this way much longer than I've known him so he's just fuel to the fire.  This is my fault.  It's my decisions.  It's my habits that i've formed after years and years of making poor choice after poor choice without thinking of the long term repercussions of what it all could mean.

Today is a new day.  This is my chance to say Dec. 9 and 7:20 in the morning I decided I'd had enough.  After I've lost 100 lbs I can look back and say today was the day it all began.  Today is the day I started making the choices that led to a new me and a healthier lifestyle.

1,567,159?  Bring it on.